currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
