no you cant smoke seaweed
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize