no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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