She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
