I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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