Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Then you guys just all showered together...?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
