he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize