seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
