i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You took a bar mat shot.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
