ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
soo... how was my night?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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