The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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