So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize