Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize