I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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