My nipple is on Facebook.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
