oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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