Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
