I need help removing her.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
