She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize