Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
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