plz talk dirty to me
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
