OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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