theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
