I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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