Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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