i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
