My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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