is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
