fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He did a backflip because drugs
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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