New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
