2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
