Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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