you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
