She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
They are going to name an STD after you.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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