One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
