I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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