Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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