we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
