I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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