I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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