I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
