well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
