I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i think i have herpe
just one?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize