i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Randomize