weddingsv make me drug and hornr
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
