i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
