playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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