It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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