Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize