I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
