Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
