Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
