so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Randomize
