When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Rumble strips road head = magical
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
