Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
two words...techno handjob
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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