I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
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