super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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