I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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