It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize