hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
