im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
