Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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