From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize