Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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